This is an actual job application that a 75 year old
senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.........you
gotta love it!!!
NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice
President. But seriously, whatever's available.
f I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options
and a Michael Ovitz style severance package.
If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management
hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection
of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're
better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb
sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be
doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
