Hot Tub Forum
Original => Hot Tub Forum => Topic started by: huh? on August 06, 2004, 02:26:56 pm
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If the frase "do you have a card" makes you cringe, you might be a dealer. LOL
Sorry just thought it made a good joke.
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Right up there with "Just Looking."
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We should get this list going here:
If you cringe when you hear: "My friend says it's cheaper to heat a spa with gas," you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "But they have them at Costco for half this price, and they're exactly the same," you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "I just thow in a little Clorox, and never test pH," you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "I'm looking to spend around $2500, what do you have...," you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "Looking for an eight-footer, around 50 jets, with at least 15 horsepower. What have you got like that?" you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "Yeah, we had the house wired for 220, so you shouldn't have any trouble hooking up the spa." you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "My friend says full foam (or TP) is a crock. What do your spas have?" you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "My friend says you guys sold him a 'jacuzzi' for half price." you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "My delivery will be a breeze," you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "The spa's only a couple of years old, don't know why you think I need a new filter," you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "What do you mean "not covered under warranty?!! That dog's been sleeping on that cover since he was a puppy and it never hurt it yet!!" you might be a spa dealer.
If you cringe when you hear: "Change the water? You never told me I'm s'posed to change the water!!" you might be a spa dealer.
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Right up there with "Just Looking."
I love the customers who walk into my store and get this panicked look on their face when you glance in their direction. The refrain running through their head must be something like: "Oh no...a salesperson just looked at me...he's walking this way...what do I do...oh my god he is going to talk to me...I can't handle this...arghhhhh!"
Usually the customer sqeaks out a "Just looking" and beats a hasty retreat out the door.
Always gives me a chuckle. ;D ;D ;D
Joe
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I think we need Chas at the next AQUA or NSPI show doing stand up.
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I have to measure
How does your spa compare to Haven spas?
Are these heavy when they are full?
where does the plumbing hook up?
(over the phone) What's your best price, i'm two states away.
I hear these give you aids( at a home show next to a sauna dealer)
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I think I use Baqua
I don't use chemicals, I have an ozonator
I don't buy my chemicals here. (followed by 2 hours of chemical explanation and hot tub maintanence advise and no purchase made.)
Will filter cleaner get dog hair out of my filter.
(10 seconds after walking in the door and looking at your bell and whistle model) How much is it
Can I get a credit aplication (before you have shown them any tubs)
I stopped by last week and spoke with (other salesperson) and was wondering what the price was again
I have a thermospa
Do you have this filter (this is usually followed by "desk flood" when the customer sets a brownish-grey mass that once resembled a filter on your paperwork cludderd desk)
I just use and SOS pad and softscrub
Do you give a discount for cash (oops!, That's on the other list)
Hope this gave you a few laughs! ;D
Cheers
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Future Spa Buyers-
This thread is not meant to be a customer bashing session, just a vent for some humor. Please don't take any of this offensively. If we didn't like people in general we would be engineers not salespeople. We enjoy the time we spend with you and look forward to helping you with ANY questions.
Engineers-
The above comment is not meant to be an engineer bashing session, just a vent for some humor. Please don't take any of this offensively. We understand that you have a tough job and shouldn't be put down like you are computer programers or something.
Computer Programers-
The above comment........... ;D
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Every customer reading knows that the tubs [you] (insert dealer's name) sell are the best, will last the longest, give the best therapy, have the best warranty, use the best insulation practices, have the best pumps, the best ozonator, the best filtration system, have the best dealer and are priced extremely fairly for the customer while all other tubs pale by comparison and the customer would be a "moron" to consider any other tub that was different than what you recommend.
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I you cringe/laugh/cry simultaneously when you hear: "I put a whole bottle of filter cleaner in my spa, the filters are still dirty and I can't get my water right," you might be a spa dealer
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;D As a former lab tech who cringed when hearing patients call me a vampire who is now a teacher who cringes when I hear homework excuses...I think it's great that you all can share the inane and humorous aspects of your jobs! ( don't we all talk about our "customers" in one form or another????)Now I will know what not to say to my spa salesperson!
In the short time that I have been reading these boards, I have appreciated all the advice that you have shared. Thank you and keep the one liners coming!
Jan
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Do you give a discount for cash (oops!, That's on the other list)
Hope this gave you a few laughs! ;D
Cheers
Most buyers are aware that if they pay with a credit card, the credit card company gets a percentatge.
It is a fair question for a purchase of 5 to 10K.
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The fun part is that we are shoppers elsewhere, and saying the things we hate to hear to other salespeople just to see them cringe.
does this hdtv come with a hot tub attached?
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I'm interested in what some of the newer comedic industry guys have to throw in here. HTM, Salesdevil, rocket, and chaser you all need to add to the list.
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" If I buy two is there a better price?"
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"Do you have a hot tub with a salt water filtration system?"
I'll think of more, a little busy today.
HTM
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"Do you have any tubs without jets? I've been told that you don't need jets for hydrotherapy."
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"Do you like to watch gladiator movies?"
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I am looking for a 8-10 person spa but I only have a 6'*6' space, what can you show me?
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Customer has an old Rainbow Filter, with a DSF-35:
"You mean there are two filters?"
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"What! I can order it online from Dr. Spa cheaper!"
Oh man that one gets me! >:( ;D
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"What do you mean i have to shock the spa???? so and so at the show said it was chemical free!!!!!!"
"Can't i get my spa care products at wal-mart???"
"why do i need to add that?? that's not what my neighbor told me to do"
"Why aren't my jets under warranty??? (as you are holding one of the damaged jets in your hand that is coated in scale and more brittle then a thin sheet of glass)"
"you mean to tell me that if I clean my filters on a regular basis I DON'T have to buy new ones every year????"
"No, the electrician is licensed and he says that it's a problem with the spa!" (personal fave as our spa tech promptly wires it the correct way).
From an electrician: "you mean it's that easy to wire??? (after he's spent an hour in our store staring at a spa he's going to be hooking up for a customer, and after I've showed him all of the diagrams.......) It can't be!!"
"I don't see why I should take the time to clear the snow off of my spa cover"
Me: " Mr Jones How does your spa water look?" Mr Jones: "I dunno, you tell me" Or even better: no answer, Mr Jones just picks up his bottle of sample water and shows it to me. Or, this is better yet: "you test it, and I'll see if I agree with you"
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;D As a former lab tech who cringed when hearing patients call me a vampire who is now
Having just been there, I reserved that for the nurses who had to take blood at 2, 4, and 6am.
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"Do you like to watch gladiator movies?"
Over. Roger. Huh??
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"What brand of Jacuzzi's do you sell?"
"One of my jet's doesn't work"! "Well, Did you turn the bezel?" "You can turn that?"
"I have no air coming out of my jets" Did you turn the air lever on? "What air lever"?
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I would like to return my Spa Up/Down, my neighbor only uses chlorine.
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I am looking for a 8-10 person spa but I only have a 6'*6' space, what can you show me?
Well, Mr Spacustomer, I have two selections for you-- The first is 6'X6' and seats ten Liliputians or what we like to call 'Little People'... and the second is straight from our R and D department- they were working on a concept from Britain- it too, is 6'X6', seats eight bathers, but is 84" deep-- We call it our "Double Decker"... scuba equipment is however an additional cost...
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Well, Mr Spacustomer, I have two selections for you-- The first is 6'X6' and seats ten Liliputians or what we like to call 'Little People'... and the second is straight from our R and D department- they were working on a concept from Britain- it too, is 6'X6', seats eight bathers, but is 84" deep-- We call it our "Double Decker"... scuba equipment is however an additional cost...
Love the Double Decker!!! ROTFL!!!!
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"Do you like to watch gladiator movies?"
Peter Graves from the first Airplane movie?
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and seats ten Liliputians or what we like to call 'Little People'... ..
Lori, please note the restraint I showed here.
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Favorite conversations in the store,
"Billy, put the nice man's PDA down. Billy! I mean now, young man. Don't make me come over there! Billy! No! Not in the spa!"
Then to me, "Those things are usually pretty waterproof, aren't they?"
Kids are a source of fun in the stores, but I also get to enjoy the occasional fierce battle between husband and wife - or between other couples of all types.
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, but I also get to enjoy the occasional fierce battle between husband and wife - or between other couples of all types.
Many of my customers are elderly couples and I can't count the number of times the words, "What did you say?" start some heated arguements.
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Here is a surefire way to get parents with misbehaving children into your store; clean every spa, have carpets cleaned, put out every small or fragile accessory that you have, get every salesperson busy with very serious high-end buyers and Bam! They will show up with about 8 kids that will wreak havoc in your store!
I appreciate well mannered children so much that when they are polite and respectful I make sure they leave the store with some kind of a spa toy or something!
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Lori, please note the restraint I showed here.
I was going to mention it, but figured that would open the door for you!
I'm very proud!!!