Hot Tub Forum
General => General info Somewhat hot tub related => Topic started by: Spatech_tuo on November 04, 2005, 02:30:16 pm
-
ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010
---------
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366 Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what the Hell is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something crappy like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the damned pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a Harley?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a dipped in S.H.....!
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering highly sugared soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. We'll send a diet drink instead. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
ONE NATION: UNDER SURVEILLANCE (with soybean pizza and Diet Coke for ALL)
-
and i thought i had too much time on my hands lol
-
ORDERING PIZZA IN 2010
---------
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the d**ned pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash,
Little bit of a conflict there... still funny, in a sick way
-
and i thought i had too much time on my hands lol
I don't write em, I just copy/paste em.
-
Good stuff but it's scary how much of a reality it's becoming.
Just look when a customer applies for a "don't pay period" or financing? Dealers have access to far too much info IMO.
Steve
-
If you don't think anyone is tracking your debit / credit card activity and using it to their advantage, you are naive (or I am paranoid or both)
-
Coach, I was awake out there in left field, I never saw that one get by me.