(cheap) Hot Tub Horror Stories

[drewstar]

Oh OK.I thought you were starting a new career, writing short stories..

Consutlant, writing stories....same difference.  

[st18901]

Hot Tub Horror Stories

"this is a special report" the radio annoucer said.
"Mad Dog Arjuna, the deranged, murderous physco with a hook for one hand. has just broken out of the state mental ward.  Everyone is advised to stay inside and lock thier doors."
There was a note stuck to his body "How's this for insualtion? The note said. And a bloody hook was stuck into his neck!  
 
How's that for a cheap hot tub horror story?  

That's classic!
Did he also patent the body automatic heat technology system? - also known as BAIT tm?

[drewstar]

That's classic!
Did he also patent the body automatic heat technology system? - also known as BAIT tm?

And to this day, if you listen hard enough, on cold nigths you can hear him cackle...."E.T. L.    E.T.L ha ha ha ha ha ha"

[jnsjr58]

Bravo Drewstar , Bravo!!!! Riviting..... a real page turner..... three thumbs up

[dpgtech]

Jim,

We do not rely on that call simply because, we are not an independent service center, we retail two lines so between all the warranty work and no- waranty work for 20+ years of selling hot tubs we don't have the time or the desire to bother with a costco or home depot tub.  all the more power to you.

[East_TX_Spa]

Many, many moons ago, before I came to work at East Texas Spa, my boss related this tale of horror to me.  It is not for the faint-of-heart or weak constitutions....

Once upon a time in a neighborhood not too far from here, a happy little couple resided with their pride and joy: a HotSpring Sovereign.

The happy little couple loved to travel and when they did, their little 86 year-old whisp of a neighbor would use the occasion to partake of their pride and joy, unbeknownst to them.

Until the fateful day that little old whisp up and had himself a heart attack while trespassing in his neighbor's pride and joy.  Poor little old whisp just sat right in that 102 degree crockpot and stewed for 5 or 6 days until he was soooooo tender that the meat fell right off the bone.

When the happy little couple returned from their holiday, a woeful sight met their eyes.  Their pride and joy were filled with a terrible concoction of bone, hair, teeth, and a putrid amalgamation of broth, all at an appetizing temperature of 90 plus degrees.

My boss had the unenviable task of cleaning up the pride and joy after the coroner had performed his investigation and removed as much of the stew as he could.  A fill, a shock of chlorine, a drain, a refill, a reshock, and a redrain were just the ticket to restore the pride and joy of the happy little couple.  Oh, and a new set of filters.

The end.

Terminator

[Tatooed_Lady]

I don't think I could soak in that tub again after the stew was done......ick.

[East_TX_Spa]

Well, now that I've finally gotten a little sleep (wide awake for 32 hours travelling home from Australia), I went back and re-read this thread and realized I missed the point.  So here is my inexpensive spa horror story and it is true:

When my store opened 6 years ago, a young man came to our grand opening and visited for a spell.  I was obviously pretty green at the time and failed to do my job of helping him to get the best value for his money.  He left without buying here.

Fast forward 2 years.  This same young fella comes into my store and buys some chlorine.  Since I almost always remember people I've met, I asked him what brand of spa he purchased.

Young fella: "I bought a spa at Lowe's for $4000."

Terminator: "Oh.  How do you like it?"

YF: "It's been great.  I even got a discount on it.  When it was delivered to my front door, the guys dropped it and broke off a corner of the fiberglass shell."

Term: "How much did they discount it?"

YF: "Well, they said they couldn't take it back so they would knock off $150."

Term: "Hmm."

YF: "By the way, how much is a new filter?"

Term: "Well, ours are $35 apiece but they won't fit your spa.  They last 3-4 years on average."

YF: "Damn, I have to buy a new one every month at $40 apiece."

Term: "That stinks."

YF: "How do you keep the green globby stuff that looks like snot out of your spa?"

Term: "I have no idea.  I have never seen anything like that in our spas.  That's gross."

YF: "Yeah, it's pretty nasty.  How much do your spas cost to operate?"

Term: "About $10-12 per month.  How about yours?"

YF: "Shiite!  My electric bill jumped $60 per month so I don't even keep it hot except when I use it."

Term: "That sucks."

YF: "Do ya'll take trade-ins?"

Term: "Yes sir.  We'll give you a $400 discount off the price of a new spa and we'll haul your other one to the dump for free."

YF: "But it's a brand new spa. "

Term: "Yes, it is, but it is a poorly manufactured spa with absolutely no value.  You might try putting an ad in the Thrifty Nickel and try to get $500 for it.  Make sure whoever buys it will move it."

He lowered his head and looked like he was about to cry.  I felt really sorry for him as he seemed like a good kid, but he was tasting the lasting bitterness of poor quality long after the sweet smell of low price had evaporated.  He never came back.

Terminator

[ssbraun]

It is not for the faint-of-heart or weak constitutions....  Poor little old whisp just sat right in that 102 degree crockpot and stewed for 5 or 6 days until he was soooooo tender that the meat fell right off the bone.

My boss had the unenviable task of cleaning up the pride and joy after the coroner had performed his investigation and removed as much of the stew as he could.  

Term I'm thinkin' that you and Stephen King need to do lunch...I think he needs some fresh ideas...LMAO!!...

(um...you DID make that up, right? )

[East_TX_Spa]

Term I'm thinkin' that you and Stephen King need to do lunch...I think he needs some fresh ideas...LMAO!!...

Remind me some time to tell ya'll "The Tale of Woe."

I had to tell it in front of the class at Top Gun in March and people were still asking me about it in Sydney.  It's more of a visual story, though.

Terminator

[East_TX_Spa]

(um...you DID make that up, right? )

100% true story.  Do not die in the hot tub or you will turn into chili.

Happy little couple still use the spa to this day.

Terminator

[drewstar]

100% true story.  Do not die in the hot tub or you will turn into chili.

Happy little couple still use the spa to this day.

Terminator

Hmmmm. Sounds like the makings for a CSI tv show plot. They are always comming up with uniques ways of people dying and then having to reconstruct the crime.  

[richny]

Bought my hot tub off e-bay..Serenity Spa. Paid $2400 for it. Made by Sun Enterprises out of TN. The only issue I have had was one of the 5hp pumps was not working right..they sent me a new one and all is fine. Everything inside this spa is name brand..the pumps, the balboa pack, the ozonator, etc.  

Sorry, but for my budget..I could not justify, not could I afford a $8K hot tub.  I have no idea what the life expectancy is of some of the more expensive spa's...and I only plan on living in my house for another 5 - 7 years...and the spa will stay when I leave.  

I do agree that service could be a problem, but so far I can not complain. Again, I just look at  what I paid and the price of a coleman or a sundance and I understand what I have gotten myself into.  Not the best by far, but hey...it's only hot water  

If I had to do it over again, I would most defintely go the same route again....but again, to me its based on budget and value.  Over time (many years) it may be better to go for the higher priced model(if I wanted the same tub for 20 years)...but I could have bought 3 tubs and stored them away for the price of one of the name brands.    What ever decision you make, enjoy it and have fun.

[jnsjr58]

richny..... that is certainly an interesting way of looking at it Pay $3,000, get 5 years out of it and buy a new tub every 5 years. I really can't see owning the same tub for more that maybe 7 years...... MAX....... kinda like buying a car ....... very interesting thought...... thanks for the reply

[jnsjr58]

  richny
which model did you buy?....... and why post it under this heading? Does it have a horror story attached?