Do you have a card?

[HotTubMan]

"Do you have a hot tub with a salt water filtration system?"

I'll think of more, a little busy today.

HTM

[Cgar]

"Do you have any tubs without jets?  I've been told that you don't need jets for hydrotherapy."

[Spatech_tuo]

"Do you like to watch gladiator movies?"

[HotTubMan]

I am looking for a 8-10 person spa but I only have a 6'*6' space, what can you show me?

[HotTubMan]

Customer has an old Rainbow Filter, with a DSF-35:

"You mean there are two filters?"

[stuart]

"What! I can order it online from Dr. Spa cheaper!"

Oh man that one gets me!

[poolboy34]

"What do you mean i have to shock the spa?  so and so at the show said it was chemical free!!!!!!"

"Can't i get my spa care products at wal-mart???"

"why do i need to add that?? that's not what my neighbor told me to do"

"Why aren't my jets under warranty??? (as you are holding one of the damaged jets in your hand that is coated in scale and more brittle then a thin sheet of glass)"

"you mean to tell me that if I clean my filters on a regular basis I DON'T have to buy new ones every year?"

"No, the electrician is licensed and he says that it's a problem with the spa!"  (personal fave as our spa tech promptly wires it the correct way).

From an electrician:  "you mean it's that easy to wire??? (after he's spent an hour in our store staring at a spa he's going to be hooking up for a customer, and after I've showed him all of the diagrams.......) It can't be!!"

"I don't see why I should take the time to clear the snow off of my spa cover"

Me: " Mr Jones How does your spa water look?"  Mr Jones:  "I dunno, you tell me"  Or even better: no answer, Mr Jones just picks up his bottle of sample water and shows it to me.  Or, this is better yet: "you test it, and I'll see if I agree with you"

[wmccall]

As a former lab tech who cringed when hearing patients call me a vampire who is now

Having just been there, I reserved that for the nurses who had to take blood at 2, 4, and 6am.  

[salesdvl]

"Do you like to watch gladiator movies?"

Over.      Roger.      Huh??

[stuart]

"What brand of Jacuzzi's do you sell?"

"One of my jet's doesn't work"! "Well, Did you turn the bezel?" "You can turn that?"

"I have no air coming out of my jets" Did you turn the air lever on? "What air lever"?

[huh?]

I would like to return my Spa Up/Down, my neighbor only uses chlorine.

[Spa_Tech]

I am looking for a 8-10 person spa but I only have a 6'*6' space, what can you show me?

Well, Mr Spacustomer, I have two selections for you-- The first is 6'X6' and seats ten Liliputians or what we like to call 'Little People'... and the second is straight from our R and D department- they were working on a concept from Britain- it too, is 6'X6', seats eight bathers, but is 84" deep-- We call it our "Double Decker"... scuba equipment is however an additional cost...

[Lori]

Well, Mr Spacustomer, I have two selections for you-- The first is 6'X6' and seats ten Liliputians or what we like to call 'Little People'... and the second is straight from our R and D department- they were working on a concept from Britain- it too, is 6'X6', seats eight bathers, but is 84" deep-- We call it our "Double Decker"... scuba equipment is however an additional cost...

Love the Double Decker!!!  ROTFL!!!!

[wmccall]

"Do you like to watch gladiator movies?"

Peter Graves  from the first Airplane movie?

[wmccall]

and seats ten Liliputians or what we like to call 'Little People'... ..

Lori, please note the restraint I showed here.