Do you have a card?

[huh?]

If the frase "do you have a card" makes you cringe, you might be a dealer.  LOL

Sorry just thought it made a good joke.

[Chas]

Right up there with "Just Looking."

[Chas]

We should get this list going here:

If you cringe when you hear: "My friend says it's cheaper to heat a spa with gas," you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "But they have them at Costco for half this price, and they're exactly the same," you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "I just thow in a little Clorox, and never test pH," you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "I'm looking to spend around $2500, what do you have...," you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "Looking for an eight-footer, around 50 jets, with at least 15 horsepower. What have you got like that?" you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "Yeah, we had the house wired for 220, so you shouldn't have any trouble hooking up the spa." you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "My friend says full foam (or TP) is a crock. What do your spas have?" you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "My friend says you guys sold him a 'jacuzzi' for half price." you might be a spa dealer.


If you cringe when you hear: "My delivery will be a breeze," you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "The spa's only a couple of years old, don't know why you think I need a new filter," you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "What do you mean "not covered under warranty?!! That dog's been sleeping on that cover since he was a puppy and it never hurt it yet!!" you might be a spa dealer.

If you cringe when you hear: "Change the water? You never told me I'm s'posed to change the water!!" you might be a spa dealer.

[zzaphod42]

Right up there with "Just Looking."

I love the customers who walk into my store and get this panicked look on their face when you glance in their direction. The refrain running through their head must be something like: "Oh no...a salesperson just looked at me...he's walking this way...what do I do...oh my god he is going to talk to me...I can't handle this...arghhhhh!"

Usually the customer sqeaks out a "Just looking" and beats a hasty retreat out the door.

Always gives me a chuckle.  

Joe

[stuart]

I think we need Chas at the next AQUA or NSPI show doing stand up.

[notafunguy]

I have to measure

How does your spa compare to Haven spas?

Are these heavy when they are full?

where does the plumbing hook up?

(over the phone) What's your best price, i'm two states away.

I hear these give you aids( at a home show next to a sauna dealer)

[huh?]

I think I use Baqua

I don't use chemicals, I have an ozonator

I don't buy my chemicals here. (followed by 2 hours of chemical explanation and hot tub maintanence advise and no purchase made.)

Will filter cleaner get dog hair out of my filter.

(10 seconds after walking in the door and looking at your bell and whistle model) How much is it

Can I get a credit aplication (before you have shown them any tubs)

I stopped by last week and spoke with (other salesperson) and was wondering what the price was again

I have a thermospa

Do you have this filter (this is usually followed by "desk flood" when the customer sets a brownish-grey mass that once resembled a filter on your paperwork cludderd desk)

I just use and SOS pad and softscrub

Do you give a discount for cash (oops!, That's on the other list)

Hope this gave you a few laughs!
Cheers

[huh?]

Future Spa Buyers-

This thread is not meant to be a customer bashing session, just a vent for some humor.  Please don't take any of this offensively.  If we didn't like people in general we would be engineers not salespeople.  We enjoy the time we spend with you and look forward to helping you with ANY questions.


Engineers-

The above comment is not meant to be an engineer bashing session, just a vent for some humor.  Please don't take any of this offensively.  We understand that you have a tough job and shouldn't be put down like you are computer programers or something.


Computer Programers-

The above comment...........

[empolgation]

Every customer reading knows that the tubs [you] (insert dealer's name)  sell are the best, will last the longest, give the best therapy, have the best warranty, use the best insulation practices, have the best pumps, the best ozonator, the best filtration system, have the best dealer and are priced extremely fairly for the customer while all other tubs pale by comparison and the customer would be a "moron" to consider any other tub that was different than what you recommend.

[stuart]

I you cringe/laugh/cry simultaneously when you hear: "I put a whole bottle of filter cleaner in my spa, the filters are still dirty and I can't get my water right," you might be a spa dealer

[Nhbeacon]

  As a former lab tech who cringed when hearing patients call me a vampire who is now a teacher who cringes when I hear homework excuses...I think it's great that you all can share the inane and humorous aspects of your jobs! ( don't we all talk about our "customers" in one form or another?)Now I will know what not to say to my spa salesperson!
In the short time that I have been reading these boards, I have appreciated all the advice that you have shared. Thank you and keep the one liners coming!
Jan

[Shut_Down_Stranger]

Do you give a discount for cash (oops!, That's on the other list)

Hope this gave you a few laughs!
Cheers

Most buyers are aware that if they pay with a credit card, the credit card company gets a percentatge.

It is a fair question for a purchase of 5 to 10K.

[notafunguy]

The fun part is that we are shoppers elsewhere, and saying the things we hate to hear to other salespeople just to see them cringe.

does this hdtv come with a hot tub attached?

[stuart]

I'm interested in what some of the newer comedic industry guys have to throw in here.  HTM, Salesdevil, rocket, and chaser you all need to add to the list.

[bobhol]

" If I buy two is there a better price?"