The Funny File - 4/1/06

[Snowbird]

[size=32]A TEXAS EXECUTION[/size]


[size=16]In honor of April Fool's Day please share your favorite jokes and pranks with us.  It doesn't matter if you took part in them or if you just heard about them.  Here is one to start the ball rolling.[/size]

[size=16]There was a man who lived in L.A. and was used to having people cut him off on the highway.  But last April 1st someone driving a new Mercedes convertible cut him off, missing his car by six-inches, then flipped him the bird to boot.

He was not too steamed to notice that they both had gotten off at the same exit and the convertible's driver had pulled into an office complex parking lot.  He pulled over and waited for the ignorant driver to leave the parking lot and enter the building then he drove into the lot and pulled up next to the Mercedes.

As luck would have it, he had made a stop at the grocery store earlier and had a loaf of bread that he was willing to donate to this open convertible and it WAS April Fool's Day after all.  He threw slices of bread on the hood and trunk and on the front and back seats then drove off out of the lot and parked across the street.  In a few minutes sea gulls started descending upon the open car (and presumably pooping there as well).  He drove off with a smile on his face. The driver had flipped him the bird so he just returned the favor.[/size]

[tootsie]

My best one was several years ago at a time like this.

I told everybody that the changing the clocks ahead was a "national media april fools day joke" that all the medias planned this one out.  and everybody knows you don't change the clocks until the end of the month, I guess a couple of people were late on Monday.

I wonder if it will work on the same pople again this year?

[East_TX_Spa]

When I was a senior in high school, I went on a ski trip with a couple of girls and their church youth group I had met the year before.  I took along a friend of mine as he had never been out of Texas before.  We went to Red River, NM, but that ain't got nothing to do with the story.

All the boys were staying in one lodge and the girls in another, but that ain't part of the story either.

The part of the story that matters is that me and my friend, Buddy L, had decided to make the trip as miserable as possible for poor old Counselor Doug whose misfortune it was to be assigned to our lodge.

We started off the first day by pulling the old "shaving cream in the hand" trick while he was sleeping.  A little tickling of his nose resulted in him slapping his face and smearing cream all over his head.  When he woke up the next morning, he laughed it off, called us a "couple of rascals", and lead the morning prayer gathering.

That afternoon, we went over to the hospitality lodge, snagged some nasty looking brownies, and rolled them up to look like dog squat.  There was a big ol' yellow dog roaming around and we let him in our lodge, put him in the counselor's bed, and let him leave pawprints all over the white sheets.  We then poured a little water on the bed and piled the brownie dog squat right in the middle.

When the counselor came in from skiing, big yellow dog met him at the front door wagging his tail.  Counselor Doug walked in, looked at his bed with a terrible angst written on his face, and began to dry heave.  Buddy L said "You big baby!" as he walked over, picked up the brownie dog squat, and took a big bite out of it.  Counselor Doug threw up on his own pants.

He composed himself, washed his face, and called us a "couple of rascals" while stripping the sheets from his bed.

Last night of the trip, we took Counselor Doug's underwear, soaked them in the sink, and stuck them in the freezer.  Next day, while Counselor Doug was showering, we put his frozen drawers back in his suitcase.  When he went to get dressed, his BVD's were frozen solid.

"That was my last pair of underwear, you little sons of britches!!!!  I ought to kick your asses!!!!" was the last thing Counselor Doug ever said to us.

Terminator  

[Guzz]

Term, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. good one..

[East_TX_Spa]

   Heh heh heh!!!

The clincher was the little bits of nuts in the brownies, it greatly added to the effect.

Terminator

[r100rs]

One good joke is the pre-sliced banana gag - but it takes awhile to set up.  Especially if you try to do it in the store.

Another that no longer can be done due to those darn safety seals.  We use to go into stores, open jars of peanut butter,margarine,jelly, etc.etc and using a toothpick we would write sayings in them.  The polite ones were - Hi, Have a nice day - of course it went down hill quickly after that - also depended on how much time one has.

My mom did a good on the whole grocery store.  Way back when the store put prices on each item.  She aquired on of those label machines while shopping and started putting random prices on everthing.  Boy the cashiers where baffled.  She was friends with everyone that worked in the store.  It took several hours of accounting to correct that joke.  I know they were laughing initially but I don't think so later

r100rs

[Spatech_tuo]

Another that no longer can be done due to those darn safety seals.  We use to go into stores, open jars of peanut butter,margarine,jelly, etc.etc and using a toothpick we would write sayings in them.  

LOL, I used to work in a grocery store in high school and we did that with the peanut butter that came in those big tubs with handles. I wasn't aware that others did that as well.